I win. (Taken with instagram)

BBQ Mac and cheese. #homealone #resourcefulonlychild (Taken with instagram)

Schymbals. (Taken with instagram)

littlefooted:

Here we go 

I’m not sure how to express myself with this situation, so my best shot is as follows:

   For a little under a year, I’ve had the pleasure, and I use that word very literally, to play music with some of my closest friends. What that band meant to me is hard to put into words now that my time with it has come to and end. I love every single person that’s ever been affiliated with Festivals (Our American Cousin). Nathan, Conrad, Zack, Sawyer, and Justin are the people I’ll tell my kids stories about one day. The saddest part of this to me is that I won’t have this to share with them anymore. To anyone who came to a show, listened to the music, or said a kind word. Thank you. I am eternally thankful. It’s because of every one of you that I know what I want to do for the rest of my life. Nathan will continue to make music, under the same name, and he has my full support in that. I wish him the very best, and I plan on being at every show. Conrad will also continue to make music by himself, and likely with the help from others, and he also has 100% of my support. Again, I want to thank anyone that reads this, saw us, or had never heard of us. But more importantly, I want to thank Zack, Conrad, Justin, Sawyer, and Nathan. For everything. I love you guys more than I can tell you. Thank you. 

Come down the mountain, 

all you looking for a home.

Oh come down the mountain,

all you trading your brother’s blood.

Cause it’s been a long time,

since I’ve been home, where I dare not go.

Back to my home, where I dare not go.

Back in her arms, where I dare not go.

But back to Your home, is where I must go. 

and you were a house on fire, and I couldn’t understand why
burn me all down to the ground, you said, the fire is on the inside
flames dancing like ghosts, behind the windows
pain jumping from the walls
you want to keep this private, I can see that
but you can’t ask that of me, we’ve only just met
I said we need hope now more than ever before, do you believe it?
the answer was silence…..I took it as a no
we all want to be normal anyways
we all want to be somewhere else than where we live
but that’s not reality, it’s just point of view
let’s not talk about the weather
and whether or not there’s really rain the clouds
unless you want to know if I feel the same as you
it’s more measuring up than just wasting time
but time is not on our side, you’re burning
rain would only be a temporary fix
and there’s just no place right now for cute ironies

We all write songs about life, we just sing them different.
you sing the words but you don’t know the song.
and you expect us all to sing along? how selfish
the lengths that we go to, to put so much distance between us is staggering
you’re burning alive with stress and life
both hands in flames trying to hold the fire inside
drop and roll …repeat line for emphasis.
I’ll repeat it and repeat it until you believe it
you’re gonna be ok! say it to me…
the answer is still silence … I’ll take it as a maybe
I can’t decide if I should knock down your door or on it
say the word and I’ll take an axe to your heart or a pin prick
cut right through the dark, let it spill out the contents
on our knees sorting through the remnants
pour out your hate in my hands, I’ll let em slip through my fingers
and this is for you, and this is for the times that we only listen long enough to know the other person we’re talking to has the same opinions we do.
for when we’re burning inside, for when we’re trying to hide that fact
this is for the scalps that we went after, to be only the best dressed
to scrape another notch on our belts, add another feather to our headress
I want to be the bigger man for you, but I can’t take this truth
I’m trying to kick the habit here, but these track marks are 100 proof
burn me all down to the ground, you said
I’ll kick through your ashes, hope they sober up my head

In March of 2010, I believed there was no God. I had never been to church, had no desire to, and was as miserable in my life as anyone could be. I consumed myself with bad company & habits, and spent every day mad at everyone. Zack Johnson, who I knew and had become friends with through classes we had together, had been praying for me, and God was dealing with him about inviting me to church. While God was dealing with him about inviting me, I could see what Zack had in his life, happiness, and i knew inside that it was because of his relationship with Jesus Christ. When Greg Green came for Faith Family Conference 2010, I had no idea what was going on. On the last day, I text Zack, simply to see what he was doing that night, and he invited me. I knew I needed to be there. So I was. I saw the devil cast out of somebody, I saw the reality of God. After that night, I was in church every time the doors opened. About a month later, Pastor Michael Lindon called all the youth up to the front, and I accepted Jesus right there. Another two months later, I got filled with the Holy Ghost. Since then, I have experienced the goodness of God in every facet of my life. I never knew what I wanted to do with myself, and God has told me in my spirit, time and time again, I’m called to preach His word. This year at Faith Family Conference, Greg Green spoke that to me, in service. It is amazing how God will just show you exactly what He has for you. The joy of the Lord is my strength, and there is absolutely nothing better than knowing He has a perfect plan for all of us. 

She’s the kind of lady that calls everybody baby
honey, sugar, sweetie, she’s always making friends
and she keeps us all locked outside her thick leather skin
she always starts with a smile, it’s small and butter yellow
but easier than a handshake, doesn’t like her hands touched
she tans alot, gets burnt alot smoking through the cartons
but then gets put out so much, she’s considered a bargain
she was born on the fourth of july with her hand on her heart
loves america, & being patronized, no one ever told her to guard her heart
she was an angel for halloween once, but never again
and for christmas ever year she’s haunted by demons
they always tell her they love her.

she used to believe in innocence until she lost it
and spent a long summer, riding the trains
she has cats and collectors plates to keep her sane
watching TV in her favorite chair…both of which are rented
she’s alone, and surrounds herself with loners
her life is a loan, lent out to anyone who will own her
waiting for the night to sweep her off her feet, while she mops the bathroom floor
hoping for a winning ticket or a man to treat her right
but they’re both a gamble and she’s been a loser all her life
and if she had a nickel for every time she’s been punched and kicked
she’d put it together with her camel cash, try to buy some happiness
they always tell her they love her, but then they take something from her.

she shows everyone her dreams, crumpled up like leaves from holding on too tight
scattered in her shoebox coffin on the cardboard walls covered in butterflies
she’s got love in her heart for her babies, and hope in her mind for tomorrow
and blood on her hands that only she sees, holding the last bit of time that’s borrowed
but you never know where that heart has been, and we’ll never know how hard it’s been
I wanna cut open my chest and let her in, but that won’t fix what needs to mend
and she stands there unlit cigarette in hand
filling up that empty hole with anything that’ll pour
insides hanging out like a flare, gun, warning.
there’s beauty in that pain, can you see it?
she’s crashing through life with seat belt hands
one accident away from a miracle
and there’s an honesty there, but I can’t take it all in
she hides the worst of it in the wrinkles
that’s the ache you get when there’s no where else to go.
and she’s got no where else to go, doesn’t want to go there.
I promise I’ll go with her.

i’ve been having trouble deciding on what i wanted to do with my money, and i think i might build a drumset, or at least restore one. there’s currently not a company that makes drums however you’d like them, and it would be really nice. but, to start a company you need start up money…ya…about that. so i’ll start small. and restore some vintage shells, and see how i like it.

yes yes y’all and you don’t stop
to the beat yall and ya don’t stop
yes, yes y’all and you don’t stop
1,2 y’all, and ya don’t stop
yes, yes y’all and you don’t stop
to the beat comm-sense’ll be the sure shock


I met this girl, when I was 10 years old
And what I loved most, she had so much soul
She was old school, when I was just a shorty
Never knew throughout my life she would be there for me
on the regular, not a church girl, she was secular
Not about the money, no studs was mic checkin her
But I respected her, she hit me in the heart
A few New York niggaz, had did her in the park
But she was there for me, and I was there for her
Pull out a chair for her, turn on the air for her
and just cool out, cool out and listen to her
Sittin on bone, wishin that I could do her
Eventually if it was meant to be, then it would be
cuz’ we related, physically and mentally
And she was fun then, I’d be geeked when she’d come around
Slim was fresh jo, when she was underground
Original, pure untampered and down sister
Boy I tell ya, I miss her


yes yes y’all and you don’t stop
to the beat yall and ya don’t stop
yes, yes y’all and you don’t stop
1, 2 y’all, and ya don’t stop
yes, yes y’all and you don’t stop
comm-sense ya’ll and ya don’t stop
yes, yes y’all and you don’t stop
you act yo, we gotta be the sure shock


Now periodically I would see
ol’ girl at the clubs, and at the house parties
She didn’t have a body but she started gettin’ thick quick
Did a couple of videos and became afrocentric
Out goes the weave, in goes the braids beads medallions
She was on that tip about, stoppin the violence
About my people she was teachin me
But not preachin to me but speakin to me
in a method that was leisurely, so easily I approached
She dug my rap, that’s how we got close
But then she broke to the West coast, and that was cool
Cause around the same time, I went away to school
And I’m a man of expandin’, so why should I stand in her way?
She probably get her money in L.A.
And she did stud, she got big pub but what was foul
She said that the pro-black, was goin out of style
She said, “Afrocentricity, was of the past.”
So she got into R&B hip-house bass and jazz
Now black music is black music and it’s all good
I wasn’t salty, she was with the boys in the hood
Cause that was good for her, she was becomin well rounded
I thought it was dope how she was on that freestyle shit
Just havin’ fun, not worried about anyone
And you could tell, by how her titties hung

yes yes y’all and you don’t stop
to the beat yall and ya don’t stop
yes, yes y’all and you don’t stop
1,2 y’all, and ya don’t stop
yes, yes y’all and you don’t stop
to the beat comm gotta be the sure shock


I might’ve failed to mention that the chick was creative
But once the man got to her, he altered the native
Told her if she got an image and a gimmick
That she could make money, and she did it like a dummy
Now I see her in commercials, she’s universal
She used to only swing it with the inner-city circle
Now she be in the burbs lookin’ rock and dressin’ hip
And on some dumb shit, when she comes to the city
Talkin about poppin glocks, servin rocks, and hittin switches
Now she’s a gangsta rollin with gangsta bitches
Always smokin blunts and gettin drunk
Tellin me sad stories, now she only fucks with the funk
Stressin how hardcore and real she is
She was really the realest, before she got into show-biz
I did her, not just to say that I did it
But I’m committed, but so many niggaz hit it
That she’s just not the same lettin all these groupies do her
I see niggaz slammin her, and takin her to the sewer
But I’ma take her back hopin that the shit stop
Cause who I’m talkin bout y’all is hip-hop

tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?

djembe.

why is it that i always find something to do to bring myself down? i make the worst decisions, and regret stupid shit, that probably wasn’t my doing anyways. it’s unnecessarily frustrating to live wanting something you can’t have, but nearly impossible to truly not want what you had taken from you. and now we’re left on bad terms? over what? why the hell does it piss someone off that i am what i have always been. it saddens me that no one thinks enough of me, but every time anyone starts to think of me positively, i screw them to the wall. and it’s never worth it. and it never will be. and i’ll never change. i’m over it.

Today, i deleted my facebook. hooray for me. I’ll probably make a new one later tonight. oh well.

Tumblr sucks!